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Messages - Renters

Sometimes I choose rhymes over meaning
Saves hours of plotting and scheming
Your prose is awry

Will we soon be halfway through the year?
Yes, soon to be Christmas I fear
2-xl was a nice little toy,
But bought a shirt that size for my boy
Well it sure beats Coldplay by a mile...
When I hear them it just creates bile
There was an old man called Bartholomew,
Who wanted to hear something new,
Too tired of Coldplay
He chose Blackfield today
Tomorrow we'll have Cutting Crew

Apologies, the last was a crime
Neither rare hair nor photos from me,
Just things seen hidden in chemistry,
Far beyond the black light,
We shall fight the good fight
And then we'll meet baldy for tea

My pussy has just killed a bird
There once was a Godfrey from Sussex
Who had a chicken that's now ex
Although he has recorded in bogs
And sampled the noises of hogs
Jem's always had fun
Scotch bonnets - are they habaneros?
Similar, and equally dangeros :P
all fiery & hot
When leaving the bot

Jem's web pages don't hang around,
Though his songs make a glorious sound
A new one is due
Lets hope it's not poo

*Spot the theme...
In Wigan, it's all overcast,
Climate change will fix that quite fast,
It´s cloudy in Spain
Carshalton's in flame
It's been drizzling non-stop for a day
Not good if you want to make Hay
PVC jeans, though. Weren't they a bit sweaty?
Like the armpit of my great aunt Betty
It depends what you do
With what and with who, (whom)
Just make sure it isn't a Yeti

Jem's never had luck with websites*

*looks like has gone down/been hacked/removed by owner again...
PVC jeans: I'm aghast
Don't knock Jim's shock Goth Rock past,
It weren't goth - I was glam!
And I wrote Wig-Wam Bam
I once had some PVC jeans,
I filled them with fried rice and beans,
Well that's news to me, sir
You'd better flash fry not stir
I think I'd look awesome in spandex,
or loons with some spangly flecks
Are you female and fit?
Or some ugly git?