Mark Charlesworth + Chris Newton: Life Begins at 40

[Wickerman]

This is a bit of a departure for those that know my dark, moody poetry, but in the words of Monty Python 'and now for something completely different...

'Life Begins at Forty' (www.peteandjeff.blogspot.com) is the fictional blog of Pete and Jeff (or, as they prefer, Omega and Rassilon), two thirty-somethings sharing a flat, united by their social detachment and love of Doctor Who. Out of pocket, out of luck, and clinging to the hope that life begins at forty...

Pete: Monday January 11th

A very emotional day. Jeff read out David Tennant's Foreword from the Doctor Who Specials' box set, and we both went through an entire box of Kleenex Man-size before putting on the actual DVD.

Even 'Planet of the Dead' had taken on dark new implications because of the prophetic message at the end (although I can't deny that we were both in stitches at Lee Evans' heart-warming performance! Good one, Lee!) By the end of the episode, we'd gone through another box of tissues. Jeff couldn't understand where all the toilet roll had got to, and I was too embarrassed to confess to my 'genital renaissance', so I opted to go to Omar's on the other side of the street, and get some more tissue! Jeff couldn't quite believe I was prepared to leave the house. He looked at me with an expression I hadn't seen in years. I think it was respect. I felt like The Doctor! I got dressed for the first time since Boxing Day, pulling on all my finest clothes: a sleeveless He-Man shirt, some ripped jeans, a balaclava and a pair of 1980s sunglasses. Suddenly, however, as I got to the door, I began to feel nauseous and had to take a seat.

By the time my head stopped spinning, Jeff had somehow already been to the shop, returning with two carrier bags full of toilet paper, a family-pack of Doritos, and some reduced noodles. The packaging said they were now made to a 'Healthier New Recipe' as though that were actually a good thing! From the evidence, this seemed to include the addition of peas and a flashy new label. The bright colours make me slightly uncomfortable. Perhaps I'll send a 'round robin' to the local supermarkets asking if they have any surplus stock of the old version? I wouldn't mind paying: Jeff has a credit card, after all.

Had an emotional Who-a-thon...

FOR MORE, CHECK OUT: www.peteandjeff.blogspot.com