Song not working, could do with some feedback!

Started by Steven, September 15, 2013, 02:08:33 PM

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Steven

Hi all,

After the magic you guys collectively worked on a previous track of mine ("Hello, Heartbreaker", on my SoundCloud page) I figured I'd make another attempt to pick your brains if you'd be so kind as to lend me a few minutes of your time!

I've got a track called "Fool's Gold" which I'm having a little trouble with. It's very vocal-heavy, for one, and I'm only just taking tentative little baby steps into singing, so the singing isn't particularly good. Any singing tips or vocal processing tips would be greatly appreciated! I think I've managed to edit out or re-do anything that was utterly offensive to the ear, but what remains sounds a little flat and kind of weak sounding. That's probably just my voice, but if I'm missing a processing trick here, I'd love to know! The other sections just don't seem to gel properly, all the instruments are doing their own things but they just don't quite click and I'm not sure why. The last 30s or so in particular feels like it really needs something to kick it into a higher gear, and the glitchy guitar I've just added after a week of not listening to the song hasn't quite done the trick. I've also just knocked the vocals down a little in the mix but I'm wondering if that was just me being insecure before uploading it, now it sounds like they're getting a little lost in places.

Basically, it sounds like the skeleton of a song that's missing all the little bits and pieces to breathe some life into it, and even after leaving it for a while, I'm still stumped and frustrated on where to go with this one. You can find it here - https://soundcloud.com/steventhomson-1/fools-gold-early-vocal-demo/s-3ZpUo. It's set to 'private' for the moment to stop it leaking out into Facebook, that's the 'secret link' so let me know if there's any trouble accessing it.

I'd love to hear peoples' opinions, comments and criticisms on this one, and I'd really appreciate any time you can spare to take a listen and share your thoughts!

Thanks,
Steven

Rook

Finally got home after lots of travelling and went to have a listen to this, but it seems to be gone now. PM me if you put it back up :)

Steven

I'd forgotten about this thread - cheers for the reply, Rook!

I ended up pulling it from SoundCloud after sending it to a few close friends and receiving sufficiently mixed feedback to make me lose confidence in it, mainly due to the vocals! I got pretty frustrated with the song anyhow, there's something just not working in there somehow and I think it probably needs pulled apart a bit and re-done sometime in the future. It just didn't turn out the way I'd been imagining it in my head, so it's been abandoned til I figure it out. Hopefully it'll live again one day, but til then, it's gone from the world!

tigermoth

Hi there. I'm a little late I realise, :) but I went to have a listen just now and there it was, gone! Well I look forward to a reworking one day. I always say never throw anything away. You never know when you might make something out of it. On the other hand, that could be why I stil have some Noddy cassettes in my loft! What i'm planning to make with those i'm not sure! Ha. Well best of luck with it chap.